Southern Showcase

This morning, JP and his MBA team ran in the Southern Showcase in Huntsville, AL.  Traditionally, it's the premier high school cross country race in the south, as it attracts some of the best teams from nine or 10 states.  This year, for example, Belen Jesuit out of Miami, FL - one of the best high school teams in the country this year - was there and had runners finish 1-2-3.  Quite an impressive feat.

I stayed home with Joe and Jude drove down last night for the race.  I hated like hell to miss the race but I went with JP to the Cecil Field Summer Classic saw him run in the Chickasaw Trails Invitational last week.  To be honest, too, I'm a little superstitious.  JP has run his best races when I wasn't there, so I thought my staying here might change his luck on a course at John Hunt Park where he hasn't run his best in the past.

Did it work?  That I don't know.  What I do know, though, is that JP finished 10th out of 241 runners and ran a blazing 15:08.  He ran out of gas the last 10 yards or so and a couple of Tennessee runners, Trey Bailey (Greenville High School) and Tommy Babbit (Maryville High School) nipped him at the finish line.  Still, a great run in hot and humid weather and only four second off his PR of 15:04.    

I watched the entire race live on a video feed, which was excruciating.  I could see, after the first mile, that Marcelo Mantecon (Belen Jesuit Prep) was going to win handily, which he did.  I desperately wanted JP to stay connected with the lead group after Marcelo, which he was able to do.  That made all the difference, I think, in his pace and time, and enabled him to run one of his best races ever, all things considered.  

JP is hunting a time below 15:00 and before the season is over, I think he will get it.  

For the season, so far, he's finished 6th, 1st, and 10th, which is none too shabby.  Next weekend, he and I are visiting Davidson College and Elon University, which should be informative and fun.  

After JP's race, I got my three mile run in before it got too hot.  It was funny - I ran through the Ronald McDonald House 5k on Fairfax.  Joe just got back from his three mile run.  His fall cross country season ends next week with the HVAC Championship Meet.

  

My Lion in Winter

This is a hard one to write.

Yesterday, I called my friend, Ed Silva, on my drive in to work to check on him.  Ed's 83 and a couple of months ago, he was diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma.  He's been in and out of the hospital - Williamson County and Vanderbilt - a few times, initially for extended stays.  He's lost a lot of weight, too, which isn't great.  His doctor recently changed his treatment from a chemotherapy pill to an infusion, apparently because the chemotherapy pill wasn't as effective as had been hoped.

I was a little concerned because I had called Ed on Monday but gotten no answer, and he hadn't returned my call or texted me, which was odd.  He answered the phone yesterday morning when I called, though, but it didn't even sound like Ed that I was talking to.  In a high pitched, almost shrill voice, Ed told me he was back at Williamson County Medical Center, had a lot of pain in his right leg or foot, and wasn't sure how long he had been there.

I called a mutual friend and learned that Ed had been admitted to the hospital Tuesday night due to a blood infection that was causing cellulitis, accompanied with redness, swelling, and pain, in his right leg.  Not good.  He was on medication for the pain and a heavy dose of antibiotics. 

I drove straight to the hospital and tracked Ed down on the fourth floor, where he had just been moved to the critical care unit.  A nurse I talked to wasn't able to tell me why he had been moved since I am not family.  Ed and I probably see that a little bit differently, as he's been a surrogate father to me in many ways over the past three decades that I've practiced law in Franklin.  

When I finally found Ed's room - # 467 - I was taken aback by how diminished he looked, lying in the hospital bed, connected to an IV drip and various other machines.  He's lost 30 + pounds which, truthfully, he could afford to lose, but still . . . physically, he's far from the lion he's always been.  The raw physicality, the girth, the strength, that's all gone, which is to be expected.  Still, it's hard to see it firsthand.

More troubling, at least yesterday, was how different his personality was because of the pain medication he is taking.  Ed was emotional when I walked in, near tears at times, which is a side of him I've rarely, if ever, seen in the past.  A healthy Ed Silva is gruff, profane, gregarious, confident, and loud, in all of the best ways.  That's not who Ed is now and it's not who he was yesterday.  It may not be who he ever is again, and that's very, very difficult for me to accept.  

I realize, of course, that where Ed is now, physically, is a part of life.  Still, it's a very difficult part of life, most difficult, I know, for Ed and his family.   

What I think, too, is that true friendship is what I experienced yesterday at the hospital with Ed.  Sitting for a while with my one remaining professional mentor and holding his hand, helping him take and swallow at least a dozen different pills, asking a nurse to give him something for his pain, and telling old stories to distract him - that is friendship, plain and simple.  In truth, it's probably the purest form of friendship, and it was a blessing for me to experience it with Ed in his hospital room.  

In my legal career, certainly since I've been in Franklin, there is no one upon whom I have relied so much for advice, perspective, and support.  Over the years, I've called Ed or stopped in to see him when I've had a problem with a judge, a client, or another attorney.  I sought him out for advice 20 + years ago when we bought and renovated our building in downtown Franklin.  His advice always has been on point and what I needed to hear.  When I've needed Ed, he's always been there.

We've laughed together, a lot.  And we've argued when we had cases against each other.  Ed has mediated for me and I've mediated for him, too.  We've talked on the phone countless times to discuss cases when one of us called the other to get an opinion on a case or a novel legal issue.      

For years, my partner, Chas, and I have affectionately called Ed "the Godfather."  He loved the nickname, and loved it even more when Chas and I had business cards made for him, on heavy card stock.  On the front, it said "Ed P. Silva" and underneath that his name, centered, "The Godfather."  On the back, it said, "It's not personal.  It's strictly business."

Like Steve Cox and Don Smith before him, Ed Silva has been one of my lions.  It's so hard to see him sick, to see him struggling, even though I know what he is experiencing is part of life.  The hard part of life, to be sure, but a part of life nonetheless.  And to the extent I can, I'm going to be be there for him in the same way he has been there for me.   

A Win at the Chickasaw Trails Invitational

It wasn't easy but I made it to Decatur, AL, about midnight last night where I was staying in an Airbnb before JP and his MBA teammates raced in the Chickasaw Trails Invitational at Oakville Indian Mounds Park in Moulton, AL.  

My mediation went late, then the starter died in my Yukon.  I drove back to Nashville and met Jude at Polly's on Belmont Blvd., where I left my Yukon so it can be looked at Monday.  After I swapped out my luggage and gear, Jude, Joe, and I drove to MBA.  Jude used a spare to drive JP's Honda Pilot home, and I was off to Alabama.  

The Airbnb is the same one I've stayed at the past couple of years.  Nothing to write home about but it's about 30 minutes from the park, so it's convenient.  

When I awoke this morning after a poor night's sleep, the weather didn't look promising.  I was fearful of a  second consecutive rainout as I drove the park.  Fortunately, though, the weather held and the boys were able to race, as scheduled, in the second race of the morning at 8:55 a.m.  There was a lot of rain yesterday, so I don't think the course was particularly fast.  

I lucked into by most parking spot at Chickasaw Trails as I arrived just before the team.  I had purchased two new multi-seat camping chairs and packed a cooler with Gatorade and bottled water.  I loaded it all into the travel soccer "dad wagon," and made the short walk to where Coach Russ was setting up the MBA tent.  Coach Bassett and I set up the chairs and the boys quickly settled into them.  I added the tarp last year, multi-seat camping chairs this year, and now I have to work on some MBA XC t-shirts.

Nosing around on the internet last night, I saw that JP was seeded first and Gabe was seeded second.  That surprised me a bit but that's where we are at most of these races, I guess.

As I waited for the race to start, I walked around part of the course.  I found the USN tent and talked to their coaches and a few team members.  I was excited to find my guy, Ram, whom I began coaching in baseball when he was four or five years old.  He's one of my all-time guys, for sure, and his parents are dear friends.  They couldn't make it down to watch him run in the junior varsity race for USN, so I sent them some photos.

Before the start, I walked across the lake on the narrow bridge to the 1 mile mark to wait for the boys.  After I heard the starting gun, the next five minutes seemed to take forever.  Finally, I saw the four wheeler, with the lead pack of boys close behind.  JP and Gabe were running comfortably near the front.  I jogged through the woods to what I believe was just past the two mile mark.  More waiting.  At that point, the lead pack had thinned considerably, and JP and Gabe were running up from with another boy.  Both looked strong.

I raced over to the finish line and waited a couple of minutes.  As the stragglers from the girls' race neared the finish line, I heard the four wheeler coming.  Next, I saw JP, running out front, with another boy four or five yards behind him, and Gabe in third place.  JP crossed the finish line in front of me, as I cheered for him.  His time, 15:41, might have been a little slow for his liking, but the name of the game is to win, right?

The boys walked back to the MBA tent after the race and debriefed before they went for their cool down run together.  I got a nice picture of the seniors, JP, Gabe, and Winn sitting together after the race.

I hung around for a bit and watched JP pick up his first place trophy.  MBA finished fourth overall, four points out of third place.

A win is a win is a win.  

Labor Day

Over the Labor Day Weekend, I accomplished what, for me, is an almost impossible feat.  I didn't do any work at all.  No e-mails.  No texts with clients or the office.  Nothing.  I'll probably regret it this week, as work piles up, but for one weekend it was quite nice not to work at all.

As Joe pointed out at one point, it was JP's last Labor Day Weekend at home.  Just typing that sentence makes me sad, melancholy even, but there it is.  So, I didn't do any work.  I think I am going to try to do more of that - no work at home - for the rest of JP's senior year.  That's a goal of mine, anyway.

Part of the James Gang was in town for the holiday weekend and stayed with us.  James and James were her, while Megan and Caroline enjoyed a girls' weekend in Asheville, NC.  I think James the Younger loves to visit, and stay with us, because just lie magic, he has two older brothers to play with.  As was the case during their last visit, ping pong was an ever popular activity for James.  So were basketball and hockey, upstairs, in the playroom outside the boys' bedrooms.  That space doesn't get used in the same way it used to, as the boys have grown older, so it was fun to hear James and Joe or JP roughhousing upstairs.

Friday night, the boys watched what may have been MBA's most exciting game since JP started 7th grade on the Hill.  In a back and forth game, MBA rallied late to beat FRA 40-36.  In a performance for the ages, Junior Henri Perry kicked four field goals, punted, ran a successful fake punt on 4th and 10, converted an onside kick, and had a pair of interceptions - including one in the end zone to end the game - all after attending his grandfather's funeral earlier in the day.  An unreal and courageous performance.

Joe and I ran four miles together on the trails at Shelby Bottoms on Sunday morning.  As I say, running with one of my boys is a gift, always.  It's even more special to run with one of them at Shelby Bottoms, my favorite locally to run.  I took Joe on a new trail - new to him - leading down from the tennis courts and around the lake.  I hadn't run that trail in a while, so it was nice to share it with Joe.

Yesterday, JP organized a long run for the cross country team at Shelby Bottoms.  The boys ran 11 miles on the bike path, then came to our house for breakfast and a fantasy football draft.  Seeing them

sitting together on the screened in porch reminded me, yet again, why it was so important to Jude to finish the project before JP's senior year.  She was right, of course, as we've already made good use of it for gatherings a couple of times since school started.  

There remain a lot of moving parts for JP, as he makes his way through the college selection process.  Saturday, he received another scholarship offer from a college to run there next year.  He has official visits scheduled two more schools later this month, as well.  This morning, we're meeting with his college counselor to get a handle on the college application process in the context of JP's desire to run in college.  It's a lot, to be sure, but I am very proud of him for the hard work he's put in, academically and athletically.  It's opening doors for him.

Family dinner last night at Adele's in the Gulch.  It was quite good.

Leadership

As I've written before, I spend a lot of time thinking about leadership.  It's a fascinating subject to me on so many different levels.  It's something I like to read about in biographies, memoirs, or, occasionally, in self-help books.  

In my many years of coaching baseball, I always was fascinated by which of my players were leaders, how they lead, etc.  Were they vocal?  Did they lead quietly, by example.  

What made a group of boys -a team - want to follow or listen to a certain player?  Sure, sometimes a team leader was the best, or one of the best, players.  Sometimes it was the biggest, toughest player.  Other times, though, the leader of one of my teams was an average player with a big personality.

One of the things I learned from coaching is that some boys are born leaders.  I had a couple of those as players over the years.  Part of it was a natural charisma that attracted other boys to them.  A big part of it, too, was confidence.  A fearlessness, too.  

I coached other boys who lead but more quietly.  Those boys were the hardest workers, in practice or games.  The ones who never complained and never argued with umpires.  They were always locked in and focused.  They were intensely competitive.  They may not have said much but they lead by example.

Like all parents (I guess), I want my boys to be leaders.  Always have.  So much of what I have tried to teach JP and Joe is in service of developing leadership skills.  If they lead, they are more in control of their own destiny.    

If I could give my boys one character trait to help them succeed in life, personally and professionally, it would be confidence in oneself.  Every leader I've ever known is unwaveringly self-confident, even and especially in the face of failure or defeat.  That's the key.  Confidence.  I remind JP and Joe of that all of the time.  Be confident in all situations.  Let people see how confident you are.  

Part of being confident, I think, is understanding the importance of keeping things in perspective.  Most things, in fact nearly all things, are not going to matter in the scheme of things.  

One of my philosophies of life is if it's not going to matter in 10 years, how important is it, really?  

Said another way, quoting Tom Petty in "Crawling Back to You" from Wildflowers, most things I worry about never happen anyway."  

For the second year in a row, JP is co-captain of the MBA cross country team.  Serving in that capacity two years in a row is a sign of the respect his teammates and coaches have for him and how diligent he trains and works.  As a senior co-captain, though, I suspect he feels a stronger sense of responsibility to ensure his teammates have a good experience this year on the team.  

I know JP feels pressure to perform, as one of the top-ranked cross country runners in Tennessee this year.  He has set lofty personal goals for himself, I know.  He also wants the team to be competitive at the State Championship Meet, too.  He knows colleges are watching him, too, to see how he runs the fall.  That's a lot.

On top of that, JP has to figure out how to lead this team of boys.  He has to be able to reach the boys on the fringe, who aren't overly competitive runners, as well as the boys who love it like he does.  He's got to be a liaison, to a certain extent, between Coach Russ and the rest of the team.  That's also a lot.  

It's also part of the big picture, too.  The life picture.  Through trial and error, hopefully, he will continue to pick up leadership skills that will serve him well down the road, in life.  That's the plan, anyway, or at least it's my plan.

It's all happened so fast.  Three weeks into the school year and I can't seem to slow things down, not even a little bit.  I mean, damn. 

(I'm at Dose, a place I don't visit as often since JP drives Joe to school and Ive become a regular at 8th & Roast.  Still, I just had a spontaneous interaction with one of the longtime baristas that reminds me why I love this place so much.  On top of that, my guy, Trevor, and I contacted, as we always do when is working in the kitchen and runs my food out to me.  Little things.  It's always the little things.)

   

It's All Happening

It's September 1, which means a (partial) month of JP's senior year already has slipped away.  In spite of my best intentions to slow down and savor my last year with him at home, it seems like the opposite is happening.  Everything is moving faster and faster.  

One cross country meet in the books.  Two football games - both MBA victories - with the season well under way.  An official visit to another school, with more visits planned.  A deposit due for the Ireland trip after graduation.  Homecoming plans.  

As Penny Lane said in Almost Famous (2000), "It's all happening." 

Indeed, it is all happening and I am utterly powerless to stop it, or even to slow it down.  To be honest, that saddens me more than a little.  

I'm struggling with finding a way to balance a busy, busy professional life and familial obligations with my overarching desire to slow down - to stop and smell the roses, so to speak - during JP's senior year at MBA.  All I am able to do at this point is steal a few quiet moments, here and there, to contemplate.  To smile as I remember.  To be sad at the thought of a house without JP in it.  To be thankful for the 18 + years I have spent with JP under the same roof.  

To sip my coffee, like I am this morning at Honest Coffee Roasters, lost in thought as I try (and fail) to understand how quickly I went from rolling JP though the neighborhood in the Baby Jogger City Elite stroller to visiting colleges with him.  Time is fleeting and always, always ephemeral.  It's more valuable than money.  And, of course, there's never enough of it.

Morning cross country workouts to beat the heat.  Weight lifting for strength and maintenance.  Catholic club meetings.  Honor Council meetings.  Football games.  Dinner and a movie with a new friend.  Telephone calls and text messages with college coaches.  College visits.  A quick run to the pool at Seven Hills.  And, of course, homework, and studying for quizzes and tests. 

It's all happening.  

   

Joe's Wide World of Sports

It won't always be like this and, damn, I'll miss it when it's not, but Joe's weekend (and ours) was packed with sports, sports, sports!

Friday night, Joe went to the first MBA home football game of the year.  It was a resounding victory against an overmatched Memphis Hamilton squad.  I didn't get away from work early enough to go but I knew I wasn't missing anything when Jude texted me that it was 24-0, Big Red, in the first quarter.  She came home early and we had a nice meal out at Sally's Stay Awhile on Wedgwood Avenue, near the Fairgrounds.  It seems we may have found our new favorite family restaurant, since Burger Up closed.

Saturday morning, I drove Joe to Green Hills Park at 8 a.m. for a goalie workout with Coach Pritchard.  MBA's junior school soccer season is just around the corner, so Joe's polishing up his goalkeeping skills.  The talent level on the junior school team is tremendous, so I am curious to see if he earns a spot on the A or B team and gets meaningful minutes.  Last year, he played a lot in goal for the A team due to injuries, but that changed in the tournament.  

I drove to TOA Courts in Cool Springs for a Bucket Squad basketball game at 2:30 p.m.  For various reasons, I had missed the first two Bucket Squad games of the fall seasons, a win and a close, controversial loss when I was in Jacksonville, FL, with JP last weekend.  I had heard the competition was much better in this league, which proved to be true in the game that I watched on Saturday.  After falling behind early, then tying it up near the end of the first half, the Bucket Squad pulled away in the second half to beat a good team by six or eight points. 

Joe was 0-3 from the filed but had four or five assets and easily could have had a couple more.  He's still limited from a ball handling standpoint as he faces more athletic boys but his awareness, court sense, and basketball IQ are so high that he's able to run the team and make the right passes for the most part.  A couple of times, he saw a mismatch with one of our big men - Aaron and Bennett - and emphatically directed them to the post for an easy layup or foul (and free throws).  

It's so gratifying to watch how well the boys play basketball together, which I guess it to be expected since they've been playing as a team for seven or eight years.  The new players, Chandler, Bennett, and Aaron fit in nicely, too.    

Joe turned the table on me in ping pong, beating me 4-2 in a best of seven game set.  I've lost it lately, after dominating him for a couple of weeks.  

Saturday night, in our one non-sports event of the weekend, Jude, Joe, and I watched Lethal Weapon (Danny Glover and Mel Gibson), from 1987.  JP was at his official visit at David Lipscomb, so it was just the three of us.  Good movie, too.  

Yesterday, Joe and I went for a 3-mile run at 7:30 a.m.  We finished at 8th & Roast, where I got a cup of coffee, then had a nice cool down walk home.  Those are the best times, really, the cool down walk after a run or the ride home after a travel baseball game in another town.  Good music or a podcast, and good conversation.  

Jude drove Joe to a baseball scrimmage Saturday afternoon at Collegiate Sports Prep., where his NBA Cannons plays.  It was miserably hot but Jude said he played reasonably well.  He pitched a 1-2-3 inning and played outfield for the most part.  He walked, stole second and third, then scored on a passed ball.  Later, he struck out swinging.  I've got to get him back to Franklin for some hitting lessons with Coach Tad.  It's hard to find the time with school, though.

While Jude was with Joe at his baseball game, I was with JP touring David Lipscomb and meeting the cross country/track coach and a couple of other recruits' families.  JP and college.  That's happening.  

Last night, Joe had his annual USN fantasy football draft at the Wedge, hosted by our friend, Derek Hughey.  It was nice to see some of the dads when I picked Joe up about 8:30 p.m.

Later this morning, I'm going back to David Lipscomb so JP and I can have an individual meeting with Coach Polk.  Jude flies out later this morning to Washington D.C. to testify before a subcommittee of the House of Representatives.  Gulp!

On the go, non-stop, or so it seems.  It never ends until it does, I guess.

Joe and Bennett after a hard fought victory on Saturday at TOA Courts.