This afternoon, my good friend and erstwhile paralegal, Tracie Carter, called me at work. She's the best. On more than one occasion during Jude's pregnancy, Tracy has given me really good, practical advice that calms me down and helps me realize I am ready to be a parent. Well, today wasn't one of those occasions.
Today, Tracie, laughing hysterically, said, "do you realize you're going to be a father in three weeks?!? Right after she said that (and while she continued laughing), I thought, "oh sh*t, she's right!" I mean, of course I know, theoretically, that Jude and I are going to be parents by the end of the month. What hit home like a ton of bricks, though, is that there's nothing conceptual or theoretical about it, at this point. We are flat out going to be bringing a brand new baby into our home in less than 30 days! (Deep breath here. Actually, several deep breaths here.).
As I told Tracie Carter and later Jude, right now I feel like I'm in the first car of a roller coaster, with all the cars jerking and shuddering as we approach the top of the biggest hill on the track. Lots of people I know are in the cars behind me, talking and laughing, but I'm going to be the first one over the hill. I'm looking over the front edge of the car and there's a 1000 foot vertical drop, straight down. My stomach is churning and I'm about to scream at the top of my lungs. Deep down, I know everything is going to be all right, but I'm still terrified.
That's how I feel, right about now.
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1 comment:
Phil- we are terrified and I'm not due until July 5. I don't know what we'll be doing when we are three weeks away!!
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