The Human Alarm Clock

There is no snooze button on a baby who wakes up, at night, and wants to eat.

I'm fairly certain the question I get the most from friends and colleagues who know we've had a baby is some version of "are you getting any sleep?" We're getting some sleep, of course. Not as much sleep as we got before John Patrick was born, however, and not what I would call "quality" sleep.

Normally, Jude feeds John Patrick at 9:30 p.m. or so, then puts him to bed. On a good night, he'll sleep until 2 a.m. or so, at which point he cries, wakes up and Jude feeds him. Again, if it's a good night, he'll go right back to sleep, then wake up at 7 a.m. or shortly thereafter. That's not every night, mind you, that's a good night.

On a bad night, John Patrick only will sleep until 1 a.m. or, if he sleeps until 2 a.m., after Jude feeds him, he won't go back to sleep for an hour or two. In other words, she may finish feeding him at 2:30 a.m., but he won't go back to sleep until 4 a.m. Those are the tough nights, because then he wakes up again a 6 a.m. or so and wants to eat again.

Lately, though, Jude and lay in bed and laugh, because when John Patrick first starts stirring, he grunts, growls, sighs, whimpers and generally makes more noises than you can possibly imagine. Really strange, loud noises. Noises you wouldn't normally associate with a human being. All of this occurs with his eyes closed. He'll do that for five minutes, get quiet again and sleep for another 10 - 15 minutes. Then, the noises begin again. Jude will lift her head up, look into the "Pack-n-Play" (where he sleeps) beside our bed and if his eyes are still closed, she'll put drop her head back down on the pillow and try to go back to sleep.

The other night, I compared it to the snooze button on an alarm clock. He makes these bizarre strange noises for five minutes, then stops. That's the equivalent of hitting the snooze button, because we desperately try and steal another few minutes of sleep until the cycle starts all over again. Eventually, he'll start crying, at which point we know it's time to get up, change his diaper, and feed him.