You Say It's Your Birthday . . .

I turned 42 years old today.

I'm not big on birthdays - my own, I mean. For the most part, it's just another day to me. Years ago, I used to really dread my birthday, mostly because I had a palpable fear of growing older. I think because my father died at such a young age - 31 - I felt like I would be in uncharted territory, so to speak, after I hit age 30 and beyond. For the same reason, I've always had a pretty strong sense of my own mortality. I don't worry about that so much, anymore, on my birthday, though. It just seems like any other day.

Today, Jude called me at work mid-morning and asked if I'd like to take a stroll with John Patrick to Mafiozza's for an early dinner, then down 12th Avenue to Las Paletas for popsicles, to celebrate my birthday. I told her I'd really rather have her watch John Patrick, while I cooked for dinner a new recipe (curry shrimp) I'd found earlier in the week. And, that's what I did, too.

We ate late, as we normally do. After I cooked dinner and Jude brought John Patrick downstairs, he was a little fussy. I suggested she get her dinner while it was hot and I took John Patrick out on the front porch swing. I sang to him (Pearl Jam, tonight) and he quickly fell fast asleep in my arms. I felt like a child rearing genius. Jude walked out front with her dinner, took one look at him sleeping in my arms on the front porch swing, and just shook her head.

"Sometimes a boy just needs his daddy," I said. She just shook her head again, while I laughed.

After dinner, I opened up the birthday presents Jude and John Patrick had gotten for me - a couple of books (When You are Engulfed in Flames, by David Sedaris and Rome 1960, by David Maraniss), a new pair of Birkenstocks (the pair I normally wear is probably 13 years old) and season tickets to the plays at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center (including Jersey Boys). After dinner, she surprised me with a Thin Mint Blizzard from Dairy Queen, which we have been craving since the advertisements started running on television. Very funny and very tasty.

Here's the thing, though. The birthday gifts are nice and I appreciate them. But I've already got everything I need, more than I deserve and more than I ever thought I'd get.