This evening, I finished my sixth and final day of mediation training at David Lipscomb's downtown campus. Thursday, Friday, and Sunday last week, and Thursday, Friday, and Saturday this week, 8:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.
Through a set of circumstances too convoluted to go into here, my staff and I didn't pay the annual fee to renew my family and civil mediation listing with the Tennessee Supreme Court when it was due. I was told my the Administrative Office of the Courts that I had to repeat the mediation training course to regain my Rule 31 listing in Tennessee. I also was told there was no exception to this requirement.
So, after 15 years of mediating between 750 - 850 family law cases - many of which involved the division of marital estates valued at tens of millions of dollars, or more; or divorces where the parties were professional athletes, songwriters, or reality television stars; or child custody cases of all shapes and sizes; I went back to school. 48 hours of family mediation training over the past two weeks.
The good news? I won't need any CLE hours for quite a while. The bad news? I was out of the office for four of the past 10 days.
All in all, though, I thoroughly enjoyed the training. It helped that the facilitator, or teacher - Cynthia Greer - was excellent. Well educated, well credentialed, a very experienced mediator, and just an amazing educator. It helped, too, that I approached the class with a positive attitude. I was there to listen, to learn, and to add something to the class, hopefully, based on my experience.
What I realized pretty quickly, though, is that it was nice to be in an academic setting again - at least for a few days - and to disconnect from the day-to-day realities of my law practice. For me, too, it was worthwhile, even necessary, to revisit the basic concepts of mediation and the psychology behind mediation, in the context of taking a cold, hard look at how I perform as a mediator.
Am I skipping steps because I've been doing it for so long? Probably. Are there things I can do better, as a mediator? Certainly. Are there things I do well as a mediator, instinctually, based on my personality, or because of my experience? Unquestionably.
As was the case 15 years ago when I completed Jean Munroe's mediation training class, I enjoyed interacting with the other members of our class. It's an intense experience - particularly with the role playing exercises at the end of each day - and that brings the members of the class closer together and creates a bond, of sorts, between them. That happened 15 years ago and it happened with this class, too.
On the first day of the class, last week, we introduced ourselves. I was certain I knew one of our class members - Lori - but I just couldn't place her. I even e-mailed the office and asked if anyone knew her. We talked at the first break and, sure enough, we did know each other. A decade ago, we served on the board together at Children's House. Her oldest daughter was J.P.'s age and I immediately recalled she and I sitting together at most of our board meetings, probably because we were both lawyers.
Life is funny, isn't it? We got caught up with each other at breaks or during lunch and it was great to hear about her three girls and, really, to compare notes on raising our children.
I sat next to Clarke, a state senator in Arkansas. Great guy. We had some good and interesting discussions about politics, on the state an national level. About raising children, too.
The group, in general, was awesome. Diverse, for sure. Also, some lawyers, some counselors, and some that were neither. All, though, with a desire to mediate.
One thing I learned - or, really, confirmed, about myself - is that I want to teach. Many times, during our sessions, other class members looked to me to add commentary based on my experience, as a mediator and as a lawyer. I liked that, a lot. Several class members, at different times, thanked me for speaking up and giving my opinion on a variety of subjects we were covering. I felt like my participation enhanced their experience and that made me happy.
It was a good six days, time well spent for me. Memorable. I feel rejuvenated as a mediator. I'm ready to apply some of the things I learned and to refocus on some things I already knew.
Let's go!
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