The Past is the Present

Chris Reber, a longtime friend of mine, reached out to me this week.  He and his family were coming into town from Fort Wayne, Indiana, to see his mother, Martha, and he wanted to visit my mom.  Of course, I said, and we agreed to meet at NHC Place to see her on Saturday morning.

By way of background, Chris and I have been friends since 7th grade or, for 40 years, if any of you are keeping score at home.  We've not been as consistently close as I have been with others, like Doug Brown and Mike Matteson, but our lives certainly have intersected over the years and, when that happens, we pick up like we never missed a beat.

His father, Dave, coached me in football and was someone I was very fond of.  Dave had a tough go of it in later years before he died, but he always seemed to pop up in my life in unexpected ways.  His stop-mother, Carol - she and Dave were married for a time in the 1980's and early 1990's - was and is a close friend of my mom's.

Chris was always very close to my mom.  In his inimitable way, Chris often stopped by our house during high school to see my mom - whether I was home or not - and to help himself to the snacks my mom kept in the pantry.  Zingers, Twinkies, Ho-Ho's, King Dons, etc.  If Hostess made it, it was in our pantry and fair game to forays by Chris (and other friends) when he stopped by our house.

Chris and I, and our families, have a shared history.  It's just that simple.  And he was always - always - one of my mom's favorites.  She adored Chris.

So, yesterday morning, Chris and Dean Moyer - another longtime friend of mine from our Northside Junior High School days - arrived at NHC Place at 8:45 a.m.  I met them, individually, up front, and walked them back to see my mom, who was still in bed eating breakfast.  Chris brought a box of Hostess Ding Dongs, apropos for sure.

My mom was in a good mood and her face lit up when she saw them.  I don't think she recognized them, but she knew that she knew them, if that makes sense.  More importantly, she knew that they loved her.  Chris and Dean lavished attention on her and she laughed as they joked with her and kidded her.  Chris and Dean are funny together, a way that only old friends can be.

It was a powerfully emotional morning for me and, after we said our goodbyes to my mom, I was a bit overwhelmed by, well, a lot of things.  I cried as I drove to J.P.'s baseball practice.  Tear of sadness  mixed with tears of appreciation and happiness, too.  I'm still trying to process my emotions today and understand why I was so profoundly affected by their gesture.  

What I can say this morning, though, as I finish my coffee at Portland Brew and get ready to head down to see my mom, is the fact that Chris and Dean would take the time to go see my mom meant everything to me.