State Champs

This morning, in Lawrenceburg, my WNSL Dodgers beat Giles County 11-0 to win the 11U Cal Ripken State Championship.

As I sip a cup of coffee at Portland Brew, it's hard to get a handle on my emotions.  How do I feel?

Happy.  Relieved.  Nostalgic.  Contemplative.  Sad.  Excited.  Incomplete.  Proud.

Really, really proud.  Of J.P. and all of my players.

I thought about my mom a lot this weekend, especially after our games.  Damn, she would have enjoyed watching J.P. compete and she would have loved watching the games.  When we rallied on Friday night in game one to beat Giles County by scoring four runs in the bottom of the sixth inning, I couldn't help but think that somewhere in heaven, she was doing her "whooshes" and pacing nervously, cheering the boys on.

I felt the same way when we held on to beat Lawrenceburg, the house team, 11-10 last night in a game that had a little bit of everything.  I almost felt her presence.  I think somehow, some way, she was with me and with this team on its run to the State Championship.

I was the last one to leave the ballpark, so I took a minute to sit on a bench underneath a large tree between the fields and collect my thoughts.  My mom was on my mind and in my heart, for sure.  I said a prayer of thanks and I talked to my mom for just a minute.  Just a word or two.

I rode home alone which, in truth, was perfect for me because it game me time to reflect on what my boys had accomplished.  I longed to call my mom and talk to her about the tournament, the final game and the fact that J.P. was selected to the All Tournament Team.  Perhaps more than at any other time since she died, I wanted to share this moment with my mom.  I wanted her to help me put it in perspective.  I wanted her to listen to me break it all down.

This weekend, it's been a bit difficult for me to overcome a slight twinge of sadness, in the midst of the boys' success.  I've not been able to complete shake a sliver of regret that J.P. and I couldn't share this moment with my mom, especially because it would have meant so much to her.  My elation has been a bit muted, I think, for that reason.

Emotionally, it's been, I guess, the toughest five months of my life.  I've managed, for sure, because I've had to.  But it's been tough.  Ups and downs.

As I told the boys when we gathered together after the last out, after the trophy presentation and after photographs, coaching this team has helped me deal with my grief in ways that I can't completely explain.  Going all the way back to the beginning of the spring baseball season in April, being able to see and coach the boys in practices and games, during the regular season and postseason, has taken my mind off how much I miss my mom and how devastating her loss was and is to me.

There is so much behind the scenes stuff that goes into running these baseball teams.  Countless telephone conversations, e-mails and text messaging.  Lengthy and detailed discussions about topics that are - yes - trivial in the scheme of things but important in our little baseball world.  There are emotions to be managed - with 11 year old boys and with their parents.  Administratively, there are always ongoing conversations with our league about practice slots, games, player eligibility, etc.  There is practice time and game time.

Strangely, or maybe not so strangely, I love every minute of it.  I love the hard stuff and the easy stuff.  I love youth baseball and this is al part of it.

Most of all, I love the smiles on the boys' faces after a key hit, a good defensive play and after a win.  Especially after a State Championship that, in reality, was six years in the making.

Several of the boys on this Dodgers' team took their lumps in the postseason as six year olds, eight year olds (that was a rough postseason) and as ten year olds last year.

Today, though, they're the 2019 Cal Ripkin 11U State Champions.  The WNSL Dodgers.

Who knows?  This team, as constituted, may not play together again.  But for today and for all time,   they're State Champions.

Go Dodgers!