Crossing the Rubicon with J.P.

Jude and I are crossing the rubicon with J.P. this Christmas.

At long last and with more than a little trepidation, J.P. is going to get a cell phone.  I can't believe it.  My constant companion from so many walks in the stroller only yesterday is turning 13 years old in a few months and he's getting a cell phone.

He's getting a cell phone.  

How can that be possible?  

One of the few areas of child rearing that Jude and I are in compete agreement on is technology.  Even as the boys have grown older - 12 1/2 (J.P.) and 8 1/2 (Joe) - we've limited their time on the iPad to weekends only when school is in session, and then just 30 or 45 minutes in the morning when they wake up.  

Our approach is generally the same with the X-box.  During school, they might play for 30 minutes or an hour, on weekends, only sports games.  Madden.  NBA2K.  FIFA.  NHL.  No shooter games.  No Fortnite.  No Call of Duty.  Nothing violent.  And, there are strings attached to X-box play.

On weekend afternoons, the boys have 30 for 30 or 40 for 40.  30 or 40 minutes of reading and 30 or 40 minutes of X-box.

I'm not sure if that's the right approach but it's our approach.

Gradually, over the past year or so, most if not all of J.P.'s friends have gotten cell phones.  That, of course, doesn't influence Jude and me, one way or the other, and J.P. realizes that.  Pretty quickly, he stopped reminding us who had cell phones and who didn't.  Lately, he's seemed resigned to the fact that he's not likely to get a cell phone until his 13th birthday in March, at the earliest. 

What changed our minds?  

This fall, he started walking home from school with a friend or two from the neighborhood, and sometimes by himself.  It's not far, maybe a mile, but still.  Jude and I agreed that if he's going to walk home from school, he probably needs a cell phone in case there's a problem of some sort.

Also, J.P. stays home, by himself, more frequently, when Jude and I are running errands on weekends or taking Joe to a practice or birthday party.  Normally, Jude leaves her personal cell phone with him, in case he needs to use it.  That's not the most practical solution but it's worked for the most part. 

I'd thought about getting a house phone - a land line - something we haven't had in many years.  That seemed like an unnecessary expense, though, and I had visions of a barrage of telemarketing calls during dinner.  

I'm thinking about sitting down with Jude and drafting a contract for J.P. to sign, one that contains the conditions under which we will allow him to have a cell phone.  Surely, two lawyers could turn that kind of document around pretty quickly.  

To whom much is given, much is expected, or something like that.

Or, much like with Peter Parker, the Amazing Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility.

A friend of mine - someone I see when I get coffee every morning at Honest Coffee Roasters - briefly showed me how he monitors and controls his daughter's cell phone usage through his Apple account.  He can block particular apps or websites - like Instagram or Facebook - and he can control the hours she uses it and, I think, when she uses it.  I'm going to have to bone up on that, for sure.

I think J.P. is ready for a cell phone of his own.  I'm not sure I'm ready for J.P. to have a cell phone of his own, though.  He's a responsible, obedient kid.  He wants to please us and make us proud.  I don't think he'll misuse it or allow it to assume to prominent a place in his life.  At least, I hope he won't.

That's the thing, it all happens so fast.  One day, J.P. is a toddler, 3 or 4 years old, not a care in the world.  And, the next day, he's getting his first cell phone.  It's crazy, when you think about it.