The Day After

Last night, I attended a meeting of 5th grade parents and athletic department officials at Joe's school to talk about 5th grade sports.  It turned into a productive discussion about USN's approach, generally, to sports and where sports fits in at a school that values academic and the arts the way that USN does.  I'm hoping some positive change comes out of the meeting.

The down side was that I missed JP's basketball game at MBA vs. Father Ryan.  I didn't miss much, as his former classmate from USN, J.D., went off for 20 + points in a 19 point loss for the Big Red.  JP didn't play a lot, probably because he has missed the last few practices as he and the cross country team prepared for the Nike Cross Nationals (NXN), then traveled to Portland, Oregon.  

When I got home from the meeting, I sat down with JP in my office upstairs to debrief about the game and to do a check-in on how he was doing.  He has a lot going on right now with cross country ending, basketball getting into full swing, and exams on the immediate horizon.  

What I hadn't really anticipated or considered was how big of a let down it would be for him to see the curtain fall on this cross country season.  The boys have been running together since mid-June when they began summer workouts.  JP missed the first week or two when he was on the school trip to Rome but attended consistently thereafter for the rest of the summer.  I think he feels like the season flew by from the first race at Oakland Indian Mounds State Park in Danville, Alabama to the Nike Cross Nationals last weekend in Portland, Oregon.

Running for the past 6 + months gave JP a real sense of purpose, particularly because he values so highly being part of a team.  He is such a selfless person that placing team over individual comes very naturally to him.  Due to the leadership of Coach Russ and the seniors on the cross country team, Samuel and Mitchell, and because of the makeup of the team itself, a strong, cohesive unit formed organically and allowed JP to reach his full potential as a freshman runner.  I think JP and Gabe, as freshman, felt seen, supported, and valued by their upperclassman teammates.  That meant everything to them or so I believe.  

There as an innocence about JP's running, I think, borne out of the fact that any leadership he provided to the team was additive and not a requirement.  In other words, he was able to fit in as part of the team - in important part, no doubt - but without the pressure of leading other boys in any kind of formal manner.  Certainly, he showed leadership at various times, because he's JP and that's what he does, but I think it was understated often times subtle.  Every team is different, of course, and my guess is that next season he will need to step up and lead in a more direct and deliberate manner.

My thought, though, is that it must be tough to go from playing such a vital role on a record setting cross country team that did something that had never happened at MBA in qualifying for Nationals to being a role player on a basketball team struggling to find an identity and, on top of that, preparing for exams that begin on Friday.   That, to me, is the day after.  

As I told him last night, that's part of life.  One day, you hit a home run, experience success, and the next day, you strike out with runners on base to end the game.  I think the lesson is not just to stay even keeled but, also, to really enjoy the moments of success - of sheer happiness - in the moment.  It's almost a Zen thing.

Don't get caught in the past, because the past is gone.  Don't get upset about the future, because the future is not yet here.  There is only one moment for you to be alive, and that is the present moment. 

So much of being a parent is learning from your children.  For me, anyway.  

I've learned so much from JP during this cross country season.  And I'll keep learning from him with an open mind as he puts the season in the rear view mirror, not without a tinge of sadness and nostalgia, and moves on to the next thing.