It's All About the Schedule

After tonight, we will have been home from the hospital, with our son, for one week. What we're working on now is trying to get John Patrick on a regular schedule, feeding and sleeping. That way, Jude can get some sleep, he can get some sleep and we'll all live happily ever after.

I've been doing some reading (imagine that) and, apparently, there are at least three feeding philosophies, all of which can be applied to bottle feeding or breastfeeding, which is what we're trying with John Patrick. First, there is hyperscheduling, where the baby is fed on a regular, inflexible schedule (i.e. every two hours, three hours, etc.). Second, there is demand feeding, where the baby is fed whenever he or she cries. This philosophy, while embraced by many, is hard on a breastfeeding mother, as it's really difficult for her to do anything other than be a snack machine for the baby, open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Third, there is parent directed feeding (PDF), which combines the first two philosophies, but leans more toward establishing a schedule for feedings (i.e. every two or three hours), with flexibility if the baby is extremely unhappy (hungry).

Although we're not really comfortable, at least not yet, adopting a breastfeeding philosophy per se, as a practical matter we're trying to follow a parent directed feeding model. In other words, Jude breastfeeds John Patrick approximately every three hours, sometimes a little sooner, sometimes a little later.

One of the advantages of parent directed feeding, according to my reading, is that between eight to ten weeks of age, the baby should be able to sleep through the night without having to be fed. Now, realistically, "through the night" means six hours, tops, not ten or 12 hours. Our hope is that if we can get John Patrick on a schedule, Jude will be in a position to get some real rest and not be forced to get up in the middle of the night two or three times, every night, to breastfeed him. I think it's critically important for her to get as much rest as she can, especially after I return to work next week and she's on her own during the day.

How's it going so far, you wonder? Well, I think it's fair to say the results have been a mixed bag. We're trying to put John Patrick to bed around 11 p.m. or so, after he breastfeeds. Generally, he wakes up once in the night, around 3 a.m. or so, when Jude feeds him again. Unfortunately, at that point, he's normally wide awake, eyes open and ready to look all around the room. Once he gets sleepy, she puts him down again and he's been sleeping until around 7 a.m. or so.

Some nights (like tonight), he doesn't want to go to bed. He cries and if Jude can't calm him down, I'll go up and get him. Tonight, I went upstairs when he kept crying, changed his diaper, which was wet, and brought him downstairs. He calmed down, we watched an episode of "The Wire" together and he fell asleep in my arms. To tell you the truth, I kind of like it when Jude can't get him to go to sleep, because it allows me to help her out by taking him, so she can get some sleep. Plus, he and I get to spend time together, late at night, when the house is quiet. One of the highlights of my day is carrying him upstairs in my arms, fast asleep, and putting him to bed.