In my many years of coaching baseball, I always was fascinated by which of my players were leaders, how they lead, etc. Were they vocal? Did they lead quietly, by example.
What made a group of boys -a team - want to follow or listen to a certain player? Sure, sometimes a team leader was the best, or one of the best, players. Sometimes it was the biggest, toughest player. Other times, though, the leader of one of my teams was an average player with a big personality.
One of the things I learned from coaching is that some boys are born leaders. I had a couple of those as players over the years. Part of it was a natural charisma that attracted other boys to them. A big part of it, too, was confidence. A fearlessness, too.
I coached other boys who lead but more quietly. Those boys were the hardest workers, in practice or games. The ones who never complained and never argued with umpires. They were always locked in and focused. They were intensely competitive. They may not have said much but they lead by example.
Like all parents (I guess), I want my boys to be leaders. Always have. So much of what I have tried to teach JP and Joe is in service of developing leadership skills. If they lead, they are more in control of their own destiny.
If I could give my boys one character trait to help them succeed in life, personally and professionally, it would be confidence in oneself. Every leader I've ever known is unwaveringly self-confident, even and especially in the face of failure or defeat. That's the key. Confidence. I remind JP and Joe of that all of the time. Be confident in all situations. Let people see how confident you are.
Part of being confident, I think, is understanding the importance of keeping things in perspective. Most things, in fact nearly all things, are not going to matter in the scheme of things.
One of my philosophies of life is if it's not going to matter in 10 years, how important is it, really?
Said another way, quoting Tom Petty in "Crawling Back to You" from Wildflowers, most things I worry about never happen anyway."
For the second year in a row, JP is co-captain of the MBA cross country team. Serving in that capacity two years in a row is a sign of the respect his teammates and coaches have for him and how diligent he trains and works. As a senior co-captain, though, I suspect he feels a stronger sense of responsibility to ensure his teammates have a good experience this year on the team.
I know JP feels pressure to perform, as one of the top-ranked cross country runners in Tennessee this year. He has set lofty personal goals for himself, I know. He also wants the team to be competitive at the State Championship Meet, too. He knows colleges are watching him, too, to see how he runs the fall. That's a lot.
On top of that, JP has to figure out how to lead this team of boys. He has to be able to reach the boys on the fringe, who aren't overly competitive runners, as well as the boys who love it like he does. He's got to be a liaison, to a certain extent, between Coach Russ and the rest of the team. That's also a lot.
It's also part of the big picture, too. The life picture. Through trial and error, hopefully, he will continue to pick up leadership skills that will serve him well down the road, in life. That's the plan, anyway, or at least it's my plan.
It's all happened so fast. Three weeks into the school year and I can't seem to slow things down, not even a little bit. I mean, damn.
(I'm at Dose, a place I don't visit as often since JP drives Joe to school and Ive become a regular at 8th & Roast. Still, I just had a spontaneous interaction with one of the longtime baristas that reminds me why I love this place so much. On top of that, my guy, Trevor, and I contacted, as we always do when is working in the kitchen and runs my food out to me. Little things. It's always the little things.)
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