Yes, my boys' accomplishments are many and, for sure, Jude and I are blessed beyond measure to have JP and Joe as our son. Still, it's not all wine and roses. Not by a long shot. The boys struggle and, of course, that's part of growing up, too. In fact, that might be the most important part. It's easy to be happy and well-adjusted when things are going well. It's much harder, though, when times are tougher.
What we're trying to do as parent - certainly, what I am trying to do - is prepare my boys to face adversity as men and not to give up when times are tough. Adversity is always around the corner, though it's not something to be feared. It's something to be embraced, accepted, and fought to at least a draw if not a win.
JP loves Montgomery Bell Academy and he's excelling in all aspects of life there. Scholar. Athlete. Gentlemen. That's the motto and JP is all three of those. His grades are fantastic. Privilege list every quarter so far. He's a stellar athlete. The most versatile athlete in his class, in my view.
Still, school at MBA is hard. Really, really hard. He studies in his room for a couple of hours after practice (cross country, soccer, etc.) every evening, comes down for dinner, then goes back to his room to study for a couple of more hours. I'm guessing he puts in three to four hours of homework and studying every night on top of what he does in study hall at school each day. It's a lot.
I know JP is stressed right now because he's talked about it a little bit with Jude and to a lesser extent, with me. Although I remind him that he's the same kid walking out of school - regardless of what kind of a grade he made on a quiz or test - as he was when I dropped him off at school that morning, it's tough for him because he expects so much of himself. He wants to be the best student, to continue to make all A's. He wants to be the best athlete, too, someone his teammates can count on and someone his classmates can admire.
He wants to carry the torch - and I admire that about him - but it's a heavy lift for him, sometimes, to measure up to the goals he sets for himself. I've been there and I get it.
Today, for example, he has a Latin quiz, a project due in Cultural Geography, a big (Honors) Earth Science test, and the second day of basketball tryouts. That's a lot for a 14 year old boy, right? I know it's a helluva lot more than I ever had to handle, at one time, when I was 14 years old, especially since he's at the most demanding - academically - school in Nashville.
Lately, at times, JP has snapped at Jude, Joe, or me, which for him is very rare. In fact, that's one of the ways I know he's under a lot of stress.
Lately, Jude has started going up to JP's room and laying on his bed, answering e-mails and working, while he sits at his desk and does his homework. She does it to keep him company because he seems to get lonely upstairs, in his room, alone, night after night, while the three of us are downstairs watching television, usually a game or reruns of the Office. It's sweet and a simple act of love.
I reminded JP this morning, on the way to school, that all we wanted - and all he should want - is for him to do his best. The rest will take care of itself. He's put the work in, relax, and just do his best. That's all he can do.
That's all any of us can do.
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