Scared

Tonight, after dinner, Jude, J.P. and I walked down to our friends' house - Ann Marie, Rob and Ayden Elliott.  A while back, Rob put together a swing set and slide combo behind their house.  J.P. loves to play on it.  We stop by in the evenings fairly often, so Ayden and J.P. can play together while the "grownups" talk.

Anyway, we stopped by tonight and when Rob saw us, he, Ann Marie and Ayden came outside.  J.P. and Ayden took turns swinging and climbing up to the slide, then playing underneath it ("get in the box," J.P. kept saying, as he crawled underneath the slide).  When we got ready to leave and were saying our goodbyes, Ayden walked over to a stunned J.P. and gave him a hug.  As she squeezed him, he was startled and tried to back up.  Before Rob or I (we were sitting on a rock wall, closest to the kids) could react, J.P. took a step or two backwards, then fell straight back, with Ayden still holding on to him.  He hit his head on the ground (grass, thankfully), looked stunned, then immediately started crying.  Ayden was no worse for the wear, as he cushioned her fall.

The really scary part is that when he hit his head on the ground, he about a foot from the rock wall.  He was completely off balance when he fell and he fell pretty hard, because Ayden was holding on to him and her weight forced him to the ground.  If his head would have hit the rock wall, it could have been disastrous.  The bizarre thing, of course, is we had just been talking, minutes before, about occasions when the kids had fallen.

That's what frightens me the most about being a parent, I think.  In an instant, through no fault of mine, Jude's or J.P.'s, something could happen and he could be injured, maybe seriously injured.  I try to be vigilant at all times, but some things are out of my control.  Sometimes I feel helpless, like it will be virtually impossible to get him to age 18 without a serious accident or injury.  Nothing to do, I suppose, but strap myself in and be prepared for the wild ride of parenthood.