Taking it on the Chin

When I think about it, there is a considerable distance between why I started writing in this space 15 years ago and why I continue writing in it.  At various times, I've written for others, for my mom, for my sons, and for myself. 

I've tried to be honest and candid in this space by writing about the highs and lows of parenthood and, well, life.  As my sons get older, though, I have to at least consider the unlikely possibility that someone could stumble across this blog and read something I wrote that might embarrass one of them.  In other words, I may have to pull some punches in my writing depending on the subject matter.   

A couple of nights ago, I found myself in unfamiliar territory.  I was driving home from a basketball game with an inconsolable 14 1/2 year old trying to make sense of of a basketball team gone wrong, a basketball season gone wrong, and a basketball game gone wrong.  He's struggling to understand how 8th grade teammates - some, not all - can not give a shit if their team wins or loses.  I don't understand that, either. 

All season long, I've watched a basketball team that doesn't play with effort or energy.  I've watched a team that continually takes leads into halftime, then falls apart in the second half and loses game after game.  I've watched a team that makes zero - absolutely zero - adjustments during games to what the other team is doing.  The worst thing, I think, is that I've watched a team where the players don't play with joy or a love of the game.  

The same team with the same players went undefeated last season, as 7th graders, playing the same schedule.  It's unfathomable that a team of the same players - one year older - could play as poorly as this team has played all season.  It's painful to watch these boys struggle on the basketball court, desperate for leadership and discipline, and receiving neither.  

I didn't really know what to tell JP as we drove home from what had to have been the worst game of his young life.  His team lost to his former school, USN, and he didn't play well.  Neither his coach nor his teammates knew, or cared, how much this game meant to JP.  That's my view and I think it's the correct one.

I tried to help him put the game and the entire basketball season in perspective.  I don't want what has turned out to be a lost basketball season - a season to forget, to be sure - to sour him on playing basketball at school.  We talked about perseverance and character and the things that playing sports can teach you about life.  We also talked about the fact that in life, you can go on a losing streak, so to speak, or have a time when things at work or at home aren't going well.  But, you can't quit.  You keep working hard and, always, things turn around.  Easy for me to say, harder for him to do, I know.

Yesterday, as I took notes while my client was giving his deposition, I couldn't stop thinking - and worrying - about JP.  He works so hard in practice.  He wants to win so badly.  He cares.  He's so down right now and the only thing he can do is try to have fun, finish the season, and move on to baseball.  

I want him to learn from this experience - this basketball season, though - and I think he will.  He'll become stronger, mentally and emotionally.  I know it because that's the kind of kid he is.